Eddie Van Halen (left) and son Wolfgang Van Halen (right).Photo: Wolf Van Valen/instagram
Eddie Van Halen’s son is still reeling from the loss of the rock legend 10 months after his death.
On Thursday,Wolfgang Van Halenopened up about his grief as he shared a series of father-son photos to his Instagram.
The snapshots showed Eddie, whodied of cancerat the age of 65 last year, and his son, 30, sharing a laugh in the recording studio. In several frames, theVan Halenguitarist leaned in to give Wolfgang a kiss on the cheek.
“I’ve had so many dreams lately where Pop and I are just doing normal things and then I realize it’s a dream, stop whatever I’m doing and hug him for as long as I can until I wake up,” Wolfgang wrote in the caption.
“I miss the f— out of him,” the Mammoth WVH musician continued. “I can’t believe he’s not here anymore. Still doesn’t feel real.”
In a heart-wrenching note to his father, Wolfgang added, “I’m doing my best, Pop.”
Wolfgang firstannounced his father’s deathon Oct. 6, writing on his Twitter at the time, “I can’t believe I’m having to write this, but my father, Edward Lodewijk Van Halen, has lost his long and arduous battle with cancer this morning.”
“He was the best father I could ask for. Every moment I’ve shared with him on and off stage was a gift,” he shared in his message. “My heart is broken and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from this loss.”
“I miss talking with you. I miss laughing with you. I miss listening to music with you. I miss making music with you. I just miss everything,” he said. “I love you so much, Pop. It’s really hard being here without you.”
Wolfgang Van Halen (left) with father Eddie Van Halen (right).Igot Vidyashev/Zuma
Since Eddie’s death, Wolfgang has been leaning on family and loved ones, including his motherValerie Bertinelli.
Hetold PEOPLEin June that mourning with Bertinelli — who was married to Eddie for 25 years before separating in 2001 and getting divorced in 2007 — has brought them even closer together.
“My girlfriend and I pretty much go over to my mom’s house every day to see her and play with her cats that we love,” he said.
“I think a lot of people don’t understand how sarcastic our relationship is,” he added. “One time, she burnt onion rings. And it’s like, she has a cooking show, so I just made fun of her for it. I asked her if I could post it. We get in GIF battles all the time on Twitter. Sarcasm is a language, and that’s how we communicate!”
RELATED VIDEO: Valerie Bertinelli Tears Up as She Says ‘It’s Been Rough’ Since Death of Late Ex Eddie Van Halen
As for his own mourning process, the “Distance” singer told PEOPLE that the memory of his late father is “the only thing that keeps me going.”
“It’s really tough,” he said. “I guess I’m a good actor when it comes to pretending that everything is okay. But it’s really not.”
“What really helps me keep going is my dad, because if I just gave up and stopped and crawled in a hole, which I feel like doing every day, I know he’d be really pissed off at me,” Wolfgang explained.
source: people.com
